My Experiences (Pt 1)

So today, I went out with a buddy, Emmanuel Harjet that Winch Papa as we like to call him. It was a bright morning, the clouds had delivered their loads the day before, which makes the day filled with auspices, or not. Who knows. 

 We heard a new phone just came out, Tecno K9, it was the lastest in the streak of Tecno's new releases, and we expected it to be in the market a week ago. I guess we were misinformed and a little bit disappointed, we had to settle for a sister phone, K7. 

 At this point, I will love to properly introduce my friend and his talent. His name is, Ajetunmobi Emmanuel Seun. Atleast that's what his bank account name says, and his ID Cards and his application forms and his Facebook ID. But we fondly — or not — call him Harjet, from his surname, AJETunmobi. Then, like the generation of Slay persons, he stylishly introduced the H and R letters that, till this day, still look unconcerned and unattached with it name. One unique element that is inherent in this dude is, if the earth was flat, he would walk for days at a time, like 24hours had become few minutes and some seconds. I could remember the dude from secondary school days. On any bright sunny day, the distance from our street (we live on the same street) to the school would take you approximately 25minutes if you are like me. But Harjet, he'd get there in just 10mins. Sounds like using Usain Bolt's speed on a stroll, right? 

I can categorically, and emphatically, tell you when it comes to perambulating, somnambulating, circumbulating and every kind of walking and trekking, you can't compete with Harjet, even on an unlevelled field, with the odds against him,  he would win by a landslide. 
Guess what? We never tried to. We gave up way too early but we were satisfied.

So that day, we trekked. It was like a walk to the fridge downstairs for him, and a voyage to the Antartica for me. We hit the first store, stalled a bit, and decided to go to another store so we could compare the prices. One of the disturbing characteristics of a typical Nigerian if you'd ask me. 

As we walked into the second store, some bald young "senior" man's head popped up. He looked at us like we intercepted a very strong connection between a blower and the receiver. Well, we didn't look like we care. All we needed was the phone.  
Did I mention Harjet was not good a talker? I'm beginning to think those who can trek at the same pace Usain Bolt ran his race dont talk much. But then, I remember he "winches" (Winch - dissing them with personals) just as much as Bob Risky tries to pose as a girl.

So I introduced us and went straight to the subject. And the outcome, the price was a bit higher than that of the former.
That means doing the most rational thing which is leaving.  

And, of all the possible ways my buddy could have implored to extricate us from the jaws of the spiteful bald brother that was closing in, he opted for a device he knew not how it worked, Social Engineering. It is an art/act of deception. Effectively used by hackers and phreakers alike. Harjet said, putting much effort into rendering a pleasing tone,
 "Bro, we'll like to visit the ATM first".
 But the senior man wasn't only balding, he has got zero chills. He blurted immediately they have POS Machine, thereby creating a game of Staring at the floor tiles as we'd already withdrawn the money. 

I wasn't down with the game. I knew I had do to somwthing, and suddenly, the weight of a world on the brink of collapsing was rested on my shoulder. 

"Okay! I have an idea. But first, I need to physically analyse the dude. In case of heavy slaps landing like choppers on our faces, we should atleast know the imminent detriment of such drastic actions". 

And fortunately, we would feel it. His muscles could frighten a chick out of a boiled egg.  The impact of calloused palm colliding with our soft cheeks might burn off our epidermis and finally embed a vestige of five starry fingers on the dermis. 

"Woow, that's a no no."  

 After a moment had passed, I resignedly made my other move. The unplanned "whatever" move. 

"Brother, It is not like we don't have the money, but we are a bit short and we have to go back to the ATM."

 I know I didnt do much, but I bet you wouldn't have done anything after seeing his muscles and his hand that looks like Peter's F*cking Frying Pan.

We escaped. Our Village people was pacified before we embarked on our walk to the Fridge and journey to the Antartica, and they agreed that they'd give us some time. 

We had to go back to the first store. We could have just gone to another store but I insisted on the first store because (1) I  sighted two pretty faces that I didnt want to forget but I did after the ordeal suffered the hands of our muscular man. (2) Did i mentioned that we have been trekking since?
Okay! We got the phone. 

Our next stop was the MTN office, a 19 minutes walk from the store. I had two Sim Cards i wanted to register and I was bounced back the same way I came as the attendant told me I'd need an ID card. Even when I asked if that means i wont be able to use a phone because i didnt have an ID card, and the crazy lady said Yes.
Hmmm! Okay! 
 But I didnt throw a fit, I just walked out. I didnt even make a sound. I was as soundless as Hoofer. 
NONSENSE!

So, we stormed out and went home. 

Is this a good time to mention I don't know why I relived all these?

Actually, I do. I use to think that I have 2 hours Amnesia. Now? I AM FINE. 
I am fine, you hear that? Okay, Pass it around, make sure it gets to our Village People.

SPECIAL THANKS TO MY VILLAGE PEOPLE. FOR THE SUPPORT AND ALL. 

AbdulHakeem.